The pursuer-withdrawer dynamic isn't about gender. It's about how your nervous system learned to respond to conflict and connection. And in LGBTQ relationships, where you're often writing your own script without the "benefit" of societal templates, it's even more important to understand these patterns—so you can create a relationship that actually works for you.

You know what you need. You've known for a while. Maybe it's more quality time together. Maybe it's help with the household responsibilities. Maybe it's just feeling like they see you and appreciate what you do. But every time you try to bring it up, it goes sideways. They get defensive. You get frustrated. What was supposed to be a simple conversation turns into an argument—or worse, they shut down entirely and you're left feeling like you can't say anything without causing

Stonewalling is one of the most destructive patterns in a relationship—but it doesn't have to be the end. If your partner stonewalls occasionally because they're overwhelmed, that's workable. With the right tools, they can learn to recognize when they're starting to shut down and communicate their need for space in a healthier way. But if stonewalling is chronic, intentional, or used as a weapon? That's a much bigger problem—and it requires professional intervention.

Small arguments aren't really small. They're your relationship trying to tell you something important. And if you keep dismissing them as "silly" or "not a big deal," you're missing the message. The good news? Once you learn to hear what's underneath the surface, everything starts to shift.

If your partner shuts down during arguments, it doesn't mean they don't love you. It doesn't mean they don't care about resolving things. It means their nervous system is overwhelmed, and they don't know how to stay present when emotions run high.

When Slicing Onions Becomes a Battlefield You know the script by heart at this point. It starts with something small—the way the dishes were loaded, a comment about plans for the weekend, or a tone that felt dismissive. And within minutes, you're right back in that familiar argument. The one you've had fifty times before. You might even catch yourself mid-sentence thinking, "We're doing this again. How did we get here?" And here's what makes it worse: you both know it's happe

Mental health is an essential part of overall well-being, yet many people hesitate to seek help due to uncertainty about where to start....

Finding the right therapy can be a life-changing step toward better mental health and well-being. However, many people feel overwhelmed...

Mental health is a vital part of overall well-being. Many people face challenges such as stress, anxiety, depression, or trauma that can...

🛏️ The Nighttime No Sex Spiral Why You're Scrolling Instead of Sleeping “She’s right next to me, but it feels like she’s gone.” If...

🥀 Why She Treats You Like the Enemy Even When You’re on Her Side “No matter what I say, it’s wrong.” “I try to help, and somehow I’m...

When we talk about couples’ therapy, a common dynamic that often surfaces is what’s known as the pursuing-withdrawing  cycle. One partner...

Relationships can be challenging, and moments of tension are common. You may find yourself wondering if the problems in your relationship...

Let's Talk About Money

The Argument That Never Stops

Let’s say the quiet part out loud: Most therapy isn’t built for us. If you’re neurodivergent—ADHD, autistic, sensory sensitive,...

Let me just say this up front: I'm tired.

Former Gifted Kid Burnout!

Why Your husband will listen to me.

Paradox Loops: The Hidden Reason You Feel Stuck