Small arguments aren't really small. They're your relationship trying to tell you something important. And if you keep dismissing them as "silly" or "not a big deal," you're missing the message. The good news? Once you learn to hear what's underneath the surface, everything starts to shift.

If your partner shuts down during arguments, it doesn't mean they don't love you. It doesn't mean they don't care about resolving things. It means their nervous system is overwhelmed, and they don't know how to stay present when emotions run high.

When Slicing Onions Becomes a Battlefield You know the script by heart at this point. It starts with something small—the way the dishes were loaded, a comment about plans for the weekend, or a tone that felt dismissive. And within minutes, you're right back in that familiar argument. The one you've had fifty times before. You might even catch yourself mid-sentence thinking, "We're doing this again. How did we get here?" And here's what makes it worse: you both know it's happe